I have to write an essay. Its the last piece of my application for law school. I started one essay but the topic was wrong. Now I'm starting all over. I would wonder if there's some deep reason I can't seem to start this but I'm more than sure I'm just not up for the hard work of writing 500 words.
I'm a pansy.
Monday, July 15
Lifeguards
My gym has lifeguards at the pool. Its a nice safety feature if you are swimming and somehow start to drown in four and a half feet of water. I'm sure it could happen.
Most of the lifeguards really pay no attention to my aqua class and honestly who would We stand upright for 99.99% of the class. Yes there's a risk that any one of the octogenarians could have a heart attack and drown but then the lifeguards would have to put their cell phones down and get in the water. That's so not happening.
But there's one kid who takes his job very seriously. He is so serious that he once closed the whirlpool spa because the chlorine level was high. No one dares close the spa. That's like high treason to sexagenarians in speedos. But the one thing that gives me pause is that he gets IN the water with us during class with his Baywatch floatation device. I wonder what he thinks when he sees us.
Most of the lifeguards really pay no attention to my aqua class and honestly who would We stand upright for 99.99% of the class. Yes there's a risk that any one of the octogenarians could have a heart attack and drown but then the lifeguards would have to put their cell phones down and get in the water. That's so not happening.
But there's one kid who takes his job very seriously. He is so serious that he once closed the whirlpool spa because the chlorine level was high. No one dares close the spa. That's like high treason to sexagenarians in speedos. But the one thing that gives me pause is that he gets IN the water with us during class with his Baywatch floatation device. I wonder what he thinks when he sees us.
Tuesday, July 9
Rules for the pool
There are certain rules one should follow when taking an aqua class
Do not wear a scent. No matter how good it smells out of the water when mixed with chlorine in a humid environment it is very gross.
Do not wear makeup. I don't want that in my pool water.
No matter how old you are most men do not look okay in a speedo. After the age of 70 no man looks good in a speedo. I promise.
If you qualify for the early bird specials then please make sure your suit fits. I have seen more than my fair share of senior citizen privates.
The sign on the sauna clearly states you must have clothing on. Please see above.
Do not yap through the entire class, the room with the pool is poorly designed and I can't hear the instructor as it is. I don't need to hear about how ungrateful your son is. Its enough work to be someone's ungrateful daughter.
Find a way to be in the class with some sort of hearing device. Makes it easier when you can hear what's going on around you.
Slower traffic to the right.
Do not wear a scent. No matter how good it smells out of the water when mixed with chlorine in a humid environment it is very gross.
Do not wear makeup. I don't want that in my pool water.
No matter how old you are most men do not look okay in a speedo. After the age of 70 no man looks good in a speedo. I promise.
If you qualify for the early bird specials then please make sure your suit fits. I have seen more than my fair share of senior citizen privates.
The sign on the sauna clearly states you must have clothing on. Please see above.
Do not yap through the entire class, the room with the pool is poorly designed and I can't hear the instructor as it is. I don't need to hear about how ungrateful your son is. Its enough work to be someone's ungrateful daughter.
Find a way to be in the class with some sort of hearing device. Makes it easier when you can hear what's going on around you.
Slower traffic to the right.
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